FLYING ACURA: High-Speed Rotary Crash Launches SUV Skyward in Marstons Mills; Virginia Driver Charged with OUI

          MARSTONS MILLS, MASSACHUSETTS — A single-vehicle crash turned the quiet Marstons Mills rotary into a nighttime launchpad Monday evening when an Acura SUV rocketed through stone curbing, went airborne, and slammed down on the far side of the intersection. Barnstable Police and Centerville-Osterville-Marstons Mills firefighters raced to the rotary at Route 149 and Race Lane around 10 p.m. after reports of the wreck. Investigators believe the Acura was barreling eastbound on Race Lane at a high rate of speed when it smashed through the rotary’s stone curb, launched into the air, completely cleared the ornamental vegetation in the center, and crashed down on the opposite side. Responders found the driver outside the heavily damaged SUV with a laceration to his head. He was taken by ambulance to Cape Cod Hospital for evaluation of injuries that are not believed to be life-threatening. A Barnstable Police patrolman investigating the crash followed the ambulance to the hospital. The rotary was closed for a time while firefighters cleaned spilled fluids from the roadway. Buckler’s Towing later removed the mangled Acura. A member of the Barnstable County Sheriff’s Crime Scene Unit photographed the scene for the investigation. Police sources say the hospital follow-up led to charges against Ryan Donahue, 35, of Virginia, for operating a motor vehicle under the influence. HN Reminder: The initial details contained in the above report are based on radio transmissions and information from police sources. The defendant is presumed to be innocent unless and until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt in a court of law.   ABOVE: The sudden onset of an inability to successfully manage Earth’s downward gravitational pull is suspected of causing a man to be found on the pavement Tuesday morning. According to sources, the middle-aged man’s night on the town eventually led to an early morning on the pavement, dangerously bordering Engine House Road in Hyannis shortly before 2 a.m. Tuesday. A crowd of concerned emergency-scene enthusiasts gathered for what, by all accounts, had been a rather uneventful Monday evening up to that point. The stricken intoxicated reveler was hoisted onto a stretcher by a number of first responders and eventually transported to Cape Cod Hospital for evaluation. It’s a good thing someone called to report the reveler’s harrowing predicament—getting run over is not entirely out of the question in that part of town, even during the wee small hours of the morning! Stay safe out there, folks! And please, by all means, pace yourselves. The weekend is still several days away… P.S. – Today’s Hytown Vignette is brought to you by Frank Sinatra… [CLICK IT/CRANK IT! HEADPHONES ABSOLUTELY OBLIGATORY!]