Artful Reminders of Connection

Sometimes a meaningful gift—one that is sincere, beautiful, and personal—can be a powerful reminder of a connection. Staying connected with friends in adulthood can be challenging, when work and family responsibilities seem to dominate our time. If we’ve moved across the country as adults, friendships can span states and time zones, making it even more challenging.   One thing I’ve found comfort in during times when it’s not possible to spend time with my dearest connections is some of the thoughtful gifts I’ve received from them over time. These are not extravagant things, but they have become daily reminders that the giver had taken time to think about me, my interests, and our shared memories. A few of these items sit on my kitchen windowsill, where I can enjoy them every day.   Take my eggplant art, for example. In the early 1990s, I was working at my first ‘real’ post-college job in New York City, living in a small apartment a two-hour train ride from where my younger sister Liz was in college in Connecticut. As the adult living closest to Liz, I wanted to provide her with a home-cooked meal during her visits. The problem was I was not much of a cook. So, I picked a recipe to master that wouldn’t break the bank, and eggplant parmesan became my go-to when she’d visit. The small watercolor of an eggplant she spotted at an art fair during that time still makes me smile when I see it in my kitchen more than three decades later.  

The aim of art is not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance.   Aristotle

  Set back from the painting is a stained-glass purple cat, gifted to me by Sara, who knew the many layers of meaning this gift would convey. Sara gave this to me when I was recently divorced and moved into my new home with my boys and our cat Peach. Sara knew how much I loved cats, and purple, the color of my bedroom walls in my childhood home. The gift also symbolized our shared connection to Northwestern University, her alma mater and my employer at the time, with its mascot the Wildcat decked out in purple.   Finally, closer to the sink is a ceramic dish meant for jewelry, but I’m currently keeping rocks I found at the beach in it. The small piece of art in the shape of a cat was given to me by my niece Cora, marking our shared love of cats. It’s been a meaningful container for my earrings, herbs from the garden, and now small rocks I brought back from our recent trip to Cape Cod.   That’s the beauty of a personal, thoughtful gift. It can mark the bond between people, particularly important when living far apart. It shows how the friend paid attention, remembered a shared memory, and wanted to acknowledge it in their own way. It’s not the money spent but the heart invested.