***  WATCH ***  THUGGISH, DOWNTOWN TURKEYS TRY TO JUMP HYANNIS MAILMAN!

HYANNIS, MASSACHUSETTS –  It was a close call for a Hyannis mailman yesterday when an ornery, downtown gang of thuggish turkeys attempted to jump him.  And, as you will see in the following surveillance video sent in by a concerned citizen, the little henpeckers nearly got ahold of him!  It’s unknown what the feathered hoodlums wanted –  probably something to sell online for drug money –  but thankfully the alert mail carrier escaped unharmed.  The attempted mugging happened in the area of Megan Road.  No weapons were shown. And the culprits appear well organized… and to be working in crews of three on that side of Hyannis.  (Not like those sloppy, unprofessional turkeys in the East End…)  These three-bird crews have been known to target mail trucks, package deliverers, or basically anyone carrying merchandise which can be moved quickly on the streets for pills, or cash…  [HN READER VIDEO –  PRESS PLAY!] P.S. – Today’s Hytown Vignette is brought to you by Deke Dickerson…  [CLICK IT/CRANK IT!  HEADPHONES ABSOLUTELY OBLIGATORY!] * The initial details contained in the above report are based on information and video sent in by a Hyannis News reader. All potential defendants are presumed to be innocent unless and until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt by some other turkeys.