Posted by Cape Cod Daily News via Hyannis News
Sunday October 22, 2023 (6 months, 1 week ago)


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            WEST YARMOUTH – [HN NOTES & MULLINGS ON THE MATTER] –  When one of the investigating officers asked the young adult driver what he did for work, he replied “construction/landscaping,” which caused the officer to exclaim, “Construction/Landscaping! And you’re driving a two-hundred-thousand-dollar car!”  – And I knew right then I was in the wrong business, and that I needed to hang up my news cameras forthwith, dust off the old spring rakes and green barrels again, like I used to do when I too was a spry, strapping young lad, so many, many years ago. But alas, my aging body promptly advised against the entire notion… … “stick to the cameras, Rob,” my bones said, faintly groaning, after finally squeezing back into my trusty 2015 Honda CRV. “The Blue Shark,” is what I named her, years ago… and she’s a fine, capable little news chariot! Once adequately positioned in the shark’s genuine, synthetic leather driver’s bucket, I went online to research how much a brand-new McLaren sports car would set me back. And the prices were steep! Just to get into a base model, I was looking at shelling out anywhere from $240,000 to $350,000, depending on which “base model.” And the prices went up from there! The unfortunate young man driving this morning’s banged-up McLaren told an officer he bought it a few months ago for $195,000. And I thought, ‘what a bargain!’ (But I’m guessing he probably skimped on the advanced Bluetooth entertainment package – which also comes with “four seasons” chassis undercoating, “thrown in” – back at the dealership… and I wouldn’t blame him one bit. Nobody ever gets around to using those advanced Bluetooth accessories, and I’m told all that “undercoating malarkey” is a scam after all, just more foolishness from the asshats at “big auto.” Who needs it?) As the story goes, shortly prior to 3:00 a.m., the owner/operator, a young man from West Yarmouth, was traveling westbound on Route 28 before making the turn onto Town Brook Road. When suddenly – “I don’t know what happened,” the young man told officers – the McLaren slid into the opposite travel lane, striking the sidewalk curb in front of the Mill Hill senior living apartments at the corner of Town Brook Road and Route 28. Thankfully, all the old guys and gals were still sleeping, and not out also bombing around in the area. The sports car sustained minor damage to the driver’s side door, but the side-curtain airbag deployed, which rendered the $195,000 bargain sled inoperable. It was quite a blow. Not so much for the McLaren, but for the owner who was visibly upset, not wanting to see his baby towed away, to sit all alone in some cold, unsheltered Yarmouth junk yard.  And it was still dark out!  So, he inquired whether a deal could be struck to have his limp “whip” towed back home with him. Where it would be, you know, “safe.”  A police sergeant told the young man he couldn’t speak for the tow truck driver, but that deals are sometimes struck if the driver has enough cash to fork over to the towing company. [HN had to leave toward another potential news scene, so I’m uncertain how the towing thing panned out. But judging from the expression on the young driver’s face, he didn’t seem like someone who would ever leave a poor little McLaren alone on some random junk lot. That would be neglect!] The Yarmouth Police Department is investigating the cause of the crash.  No further details were available at the time of these mullings… P.S. – Today’s Hytown Vignette is a brought to you by Bossa Rio…  [CLICK IT/CRANK IT! HEADPHONES ABSOLUTELY OBLIGATORY!]  

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