Tomorrow’s Lies - Today | Cape Cod Daily News

By TRB

For those of you with the stomach to vote for or against these remarkably inept members of Congress in the next election, or for Presidential candidates, let me clue you in on some of the script before it is completely written and regurgetated to the masses.The lies are being prepared at this very moment, they need several things before they can truly be effective lies, You just can't throw them out there like Sarah Palin or some other Tea Party roach.

No this all has to be choreographed. It requires experts and fundations and skewed statistics that can be skewed so perfectly that you might not even notice they have been skewed. Then there's the phone banks with the questions worded in such a way as to receive the answer they want. Maybe you will fall into one of those traps.

Fake polls are big. Anyone can have a poll. All you have to do is publicize it in such a way that the local news dingbats can't resist it. For example, Say you've got five people in town who are 100 or older. Why not get them together and find out who they are voting for, especially if it's your candidate. Well they are voting for your candidate. But that proves nothing, since three of them are senile and haven't known the president's name in 20 years. But the public eats up this kind of stuff, and that's worth some votes.

By far the hardest part of any election is the lying. Campaign's don't have lying departments. They pretty much lie whenever they get a chance though. Still the skill of lying your way through political races has to be tweeked. There must be a way to lie with more sincerity for example. And someone has to devise a method that will prevent a lie from catching up with you.

One of the shortcomings of lies of course is that they are not the truth. That makes them especially hard to work with if you can't keep a straight face. But successes have been recorded. For example, if you play your cards right you can convince a government agency to back up your lie. The FCC, the FAA, the FBI, the CIA, the EPA, Homeland Security (they will lie about anything, the AG. Really, pick your agency, someone inside will feed you a lie or take something out of context that will help you with your campaign. Why? Because all of these agencies are politically motivated to survive and prosper.

You always have to keep one thing in mind though. If you don't you will be fooled every time. The lies begin when the campaigns begin and intensify as they get closer to election day, at which point you don't know anything true about either candidate.

This 2012 presidential election and the seats open for Congress just might be the most dishonest election in American history, And now there is proof that lying works even better then telling the truth. Just look at Mr, "Yes We Can Man". In fact let's play this one straight. What if they had to run on the truth? This will give you an idea of how it might sound:

Yes we can put millions out of their houses and into the street. Yes we can saddle your children's children with debt.Yes we can continue the insane tax break for the wealthy forever. Yes we can keep our troops in Iraq and Afghanistn as long as I want. Yes we can compromise away all of the advances made by the middle class and put them back in their place. Yes we can ignore the poor. Yes we can give the Tea Party and Republicans control of our lives.

No we can't find any jobs. No the alternative energy thing really isn't going to work out because the Koreans and the Chinese are already ahead of us on it. No there is no such thing as a new industry that will put this nation back upon its feet. No, we can't completely leave Iraq and Afghanistan; we're going to have to monitor the situation there for awhile.

No we can't completely fund Medicare and Medicaid and you'll have to take some Social Security cuts down the line. No we can't regulate the banks and investment houses or they won't pay for my lavish retirement. No, the energy saving cars don't really save much in the way of energy and don't really help us with air pollution. After all you have to plug that in don't you? Well, where do you suppose it is getting that power? That's right, from fossil fuel run generators. And you thought you were an environmentalist. That's cute.

Now to what we are going to hear; first I believe it will be a battle between Mitt Romney and Barack Obama. Mitt has a couple of things on the downside, There are apparently some people out there who aren't buying the Mormon story of gold tablets dug up in New Hamphire or New York and the space ship thing seems a little weird to the voter. Remind yourself though, these are the same people who believe that Jesus rose from the dead and turned water into wine, etc, so I doubt if the religion thing will go that far. Both religions have some explaining to do. It can't be health care, because Obama practically adopted the same program Romney designed when he was governor of Massachusetts. So he really can't go after that, but he will try to,

His big lie will be the promise of jobs, even when everyone knows that jobs are not coming. Mitt will criss cross the country claiming they are.

He will spend millions in ads claiming imaginary jobs are coming. And he will sit there with that very American-looking family and lie right to your face saying he is going to turn the economy around and put you back to work.

And this will eventually wear you down and you will think, is it possible he could be telling the truth? And that is when he has got you.You are his now. You will go to the polls and put still another liar in office. Guaranteed. And there is always racism. Mitt will play that card if the going gets rough.

So what will Obama have to say for himself? He will tell us that he got us out of the worst recession since the great Depression and people will ask, what do you mean, aren't we in a recession? And Barack will shake his head and put on a smile and he willl show you a set of special bogus statistics proving that he has actually done a good job on the economic front. The only thing that could derail this is a second recession which many believe the Republicans are praying for just to get rid of Obama. But they needn't worry, Obama is gone anyway. He made too many concessions to one of the craziest political parties in the history of the Uniteed States.

You can't get much crazier if you are sitting down with Tea Party people and Republicans who don't believe in evolution - and you still think a compromise is coming your way.

Aditionally Obama will take credit for killing Osama bin Laden. He will say his mortgage refinance program worked, which is a lie. It just got the homeowners in deeper and they wound up out in the street. He will say he's done a lot for military veterans, while he is cutting back. He will not mention all of the food programs that he stopped for poor children.

Someone might hear that and think it is so out of character that I must be lying.

Guess what?

I am not.