Romney and The Golden Sea Dragon

By Columnist TRB - Before we discuss Romney's latest blunder, there are some things people should know about his normal life, if that is what it can be called. I used to have a few friends like Mitt Romney, always out on the lake in the boat, or in Europe, or just sitting poolside working on a tan. Work? Work came in their mail in the form of a bank check from a trust fund that would always be there, Well at least for generations. But then I grew up and met people who lived in the real world where you wake up most mornings, get dressed and go out to do something that you might not even like doing. It is called a job, a profession, a skill, a task that we perform routinely so our lives can be improved and so you can pick up that paycheck at the end of the week. Or do you have check to bank? You see, these are relatively new banking practices that Mitt Romney might not even know about. Did you know he could not even answer a cell phone recently? It's true. He stood there looking at the ringing phone, perplexed. What button should he push? Why did he not know? Simple. Mitt Romney doesn't answer phones. He has people who do that.

We have known for quite some time that Mitt Romney is a fool. Here is a man who made his money sending American jobs overseas or destroying them right here. He is running for president when the unemployment rate is high, with the promise that he will "create" jobs. The job destroyer is also apparently a job creator. Or so he claims. The other night a reporter from the magazine Mother Jones left his camera microphone on while Romney made a speech to a super-wealthy crowd of campaign contributers. He told them that 47 percent of all Americans are on "entitlement programs." And that he could just write them off as voters because they were never going to vote for him, especially because he had pledged to take their "entitlements" away.

With that one line, he wrote off senior citizens, service-connected disabled veterans, social security disabled, and anyone alive who has been down on their luck and needed government assistance. Romney said these people, 47 percent of them (a figure he must have made up), were firmly in the Obama camp and they would never vote for him.

Then he proceeded to make fun of the elderly, the poor and the disabled for their "dependence" on the government, suggesting they were just lazy and could work if they wanted. He then conjured up a rare display of Romney anger when he said these poor folks did not pay their taxes. This rich guy who sometimes does not pay taxes on his millions in income annualy was angry that an 85 year old woman making $700 a month, not enough to buy her prescription drugs and pay her rent at the same time did not have to pay taxes on her income. Most of Romney's capital gain taxes never materialize, after he and his tax lawyers find the right technicalities to avoid them.

Lately I keep having the same dream of Mitt Romney. In it we are out at sea in a large sail boat. I don't know why we are at sea, except to say that maybe that is how I perceive his campaign - as being at sea. The sea is rough and at some point or other Mitt goes over the side. I search for him from both sides of the boat Nothing. He must have hit his head . . .

Suddenly a blazing ball of fire shoots past just barely grazing my ear. I look up. A towering dragon is hovering over the ship. He is bright gold. Covered with what looks like real gold. And riding him on the back as though he were a horse is Mitt. I can see his beady eyes. His chinos still have their crease. "Do you get any entitlements?" he asks with madness in his voice. "I have always wondered about you."

I awaken. I had forgotten to turn the TV off, and can hear Mitt's voice. It is 10:30 at night, and he is apologizing for the "47 percent" remark," but not really apologizing. You knew he meant it. He had just fallen overboard again.